Orange Era
One we want (and one we don't)
Dear publishing world, I fully understand that your Hallowe’en issue was put into action probably last March, but I think I speak for every red blooded fall loving North American when I tell you that we are not ready for this aesthetic. I’m still leafing through all the summer cocktail inspired popsicle recipes that I tore out of the Food Network magazine that I didn’t want to pay for. GOD.
Just need five more minutes to *pretend* that the Hallowe’en mini candy bars weren’t extruded at the factory years ago, and that they haven’t been sitting patiently in a refrigerated shipping container since 2021. Thank you. Please let me enjoy the illusion that life is carefree and spontaneous. Even the high priestess of fall herself, Taylor Swift, is only now ushering us into our creamsicle summer era. Pump the autumnal breaks!
Give me peace until Labor Day, when, like clockwork, I will experience lowkey back-to-school panic like middle schooler Sam Bee, apoplectic that my Dr. Scholl’s clogs might clash with my corduroy culottes.
It’s hard to resist going down all the rabbit holes. I’ve been trying to channel excess doom scrolling energy into more positive activities like yogurt making? Sure, why not. That sounds like a lovely non-phone-holding project. And yes, my loving family is resistant to this newfound enthusiasm for hanging dripping sacks of sour milk all around, but joke’s on them! This stuff is creamy and delicious! And actually… surprisingly worth the effort.
I follow Martha Stewart’s recipe but let it sit out for 24 whole ass hours, then drain for TWELVE MORE. It’s revolting, but I just remind my family that I am in perimenopause and then they are afraid of asking follow up questions. Easy!
I also put it on my FACE, and it makes my skin nice and soft, and fragrant with cheese.
Which reminds me: come check out my show How To Survive Menopause in case you or anyone you know or love has or will come into contact with this experience in their lifetime? HINT: it’s pretty much everyone. At some point we are all *blessed* with full knowledge of our bodies and the ways in which they have BETRAYED us. (JK JK our bodies are a miracle, sorry Lord, thank you for this healthy functioning endocrine system, I love to speak out loud about its mysteries)
And, NYC folks, just in case you want to know more about becoming a Saint, check out this EXTREMELY fun launch for a book that I instantly pre-ordered and added to my Bookshop, by the amazing Kate Sidley! Is making yogurt Step Number One? I hope so.
And now I’m sitting here, contemplating how lucky I am that all my homesteading is a lark and a fun distraction. In the real world, fallout continues over the dismantling of USAID, and last month TONS - literal metric tons - of food was destroyed due to the Trump administration's ham-fisted approach to management. Even as other organizations raced to try and divert the needed food. Sickening.
I encourage everyone to watch this interview with CNN’s Pamela Brown and Christ Church founder Doug Wilson, who has some high level disciples (looking at you Pete Hegseth), in which he shares his ‘vision’ for America to become a fully Christian nation and patriarchal society, including repealing the 19th amendment, and excluding women from military and leadership roles. “Women are the kind of people that people come out of.” [Go to 2:38 marker for full rage boiling point]
Loving the familiar spiritual chasm that lies somewhere between America being a full bore “Christian Nation” but also a country in which ‘we set fire to food that people desperately need, because we are too busy owning the Libs to pay attention.’ Cool, cool.
Naturally, what stock pile is next in the crosshairs of destruction? Why, Birth control, of course. Since it is hard for me to type about this more without using my profane lock type setting, let me turn to numbers - stress highlighted from the NYT’s article above and The Hill.
$9.7 million. The estimated value of contraceptives on burn notice
$160,000. The estimated cost the US government will spend to burn the much needed MEDICAL supplies
362,000. The estimated amount of unintended pregnancies these supplies could prevent.
110,000. The estimated amount of unsafe abortions these supplies could prevent.
718. The estimated amount of maternal deaths these supplies could prevent.
3. The amount of years these resources could supply Senegal.
Counter point. Here is a strong case for a full matriarchal society.
Counter counter point: sounds great, needs more cats.
Our stray. It’s official. We are calling her Lisa Purr-kowski.
Xo
Sam
Love you, Sam!
Love the cat.
Hate yogurt - but then, I've never tried it on my face!