Samapalooza
Playlist of laser, wild, and stray cats
Samantha Bee reporting live from VELD. I promise I haven’t been hitting the Celsius too hard, I’m actually at an EDM festival - or was - last weekend, AMA. WHAT. WHY. WHAAAAT.
Folks, I believe that I have, in this very Substack, indicated that I possess a deep and enduring love for music that sounds horrible, like if Cyberdyne Systems took over your Spotify to inflict maximum wrath.
Somehow this music is a meditation for me? (I am sorry. Lord, what will my elderly years look like? Who will be the DJ at my seniors’ residence? Will I spend my whole life as one version of myself and spend the last five absolutely tripping balls at Shady Acres? Perhaps.)
But BTW I am loving all the women DJs who are ascending.
Anyway, everyone was in g-strings and glitter. I wore a full jeans and tank top combo that looked like FBI agent cosplay, and no there are no photos, and yes someone did come up to me and say “Hey! COOL MOM!”. Of course, my internal self was like ‘wait are you saying that I don’t blend in seamlessly?’ and yes, I mean, of course. We are all 26 in our own minds.
But actually, coincidentally, I was also… on the Veld? Earlier in the summer we brought our kids to a bunch of destinations in Africa, ending in Botswana, and I won’t bore you with the (magical) details but here are some photos of all my new friends.*
What in the world.
Oh Dear Lord?
Sir, did you just swallow a water buffalo whole?
Never in my life had I ever considered the plight of wild dogs, until a whole pack of them ran across my path whilst chasing an impala; consider me SMITTEN.
Some great research work is being done here, in case you are interested in falling in love with these cool, social, gritty little creatures. I myself, on the daily, wonder: should I go back to college and study them? Is anyone up for a sexagenarian research scientist slowly picking up animal droppings in the wild while she responsibly attends to the flexibility of her lower back?
When we returned, I happened upon the most interesting podcast from a few years ago, on the subject of rhino poaching in Kruger National Park. It goes much deeper than that, to explore the complex dynamics of conservation/human-animal conflict and the everlasting impact of colonialism in the region. Obviously I am just personally scratching the surface, and motivated to learn more… but I have to say that I thought the reporting was great, and it challenged many of my assumptions, which is always a good thing. If you too are interested, The Invisible Hand, is a real one.
Word of warning, it’s graphic.
Speaking of alarm bells in my brain…
Also making me queasy, this ridiculous ballroom renovation.
Which compliments this OTHER renovation that is so costly they will not even tell us.
And THIS humdinger. The Bravo series NO one wants. Ghislaine Maxwell moved to lower security Texas prison with cell mates Elizabeth Holmes and Real Housewife of Salt Lake City Jen Shah. The victims weren’t told. My first thought: NO. My second thought is FUCK NO. NO. No, no, NO, No NOOOOOO.
More of this. (ref. HOW TO SURVIVE MENOPAUSE. get tickets!)
And at least one hot dog pileup per summer please and thank you.
Prepare your ears and eyes. Choice Words is BACK tomorrow with an all new episode featuring - spoiler - Jena Friedman! It’s a really fun one.
Finally, my dream came true. A new (stray) cat just walked up my driveway and made herself at home on my patio. She has a chewed up tail, a rough and ready disposition, and she is thoroughly enjoying all of the tasty cat food I am providing. How will this story evolve? Stay tuned. For now, we are calling her Lisa Murkowski, and she is a delight. As my son said, she looks like she could eat our pretty housecats in CHUNKS, and I think that might be true?
Anyway, here she is, in all her glory.
LISA!
Xo
Sam
*not my friends, they did NOT care for me, not one bit
The elephant looks like it's touring a wild people park
I’d bring Lisa in right now! She looks like a keeper!