Happy NOT January, my friends!
Last week I drank a coffee so strong it gave me Homelander heat vision. A beverage so powerful, that there I was, eight feet tall, head hovering above me like a helium balloon on a string, able to see people’s bones through their skin.
Bad news though; I squandered that supercharged power of sight on those hideous confirmation hearings, results TBD. There were three to watch and have bad feelings about, but I reserved most of my wrath for Bad Boy With A Sex Diary, RFK Jr. Look it up if you must, but I do not recommend it.
I DO, however, recommend reading Caroline Kennedy’s plea to lawmakers, if you haven’t already. I myself have read it ten times, and I hope it works (though I am not confident that it will.)
Also did that motherfucker really pop a Zyn DURING HIS CONFIRMATION HEARING TO BE SECRETARY OF HEALTH? So so cool. So rad. Such a steamy pile of man meat. Which brings me to my next point.
I simply cannot get over how many people are saying out loud and writing in print, and I am paraphrasing here but you get the idea: “You can say a lot of things about RFK Jr., but his charisma is undeniable.”
Pause.
Pause.
Pause.
It IS? His charisma is undeniable? To whom? Because actually I find it quite deniable. Thoroughly deniable.
So when you say charisma…you must mean less Han Solo, and more Beetlejuice, right? Because that guy was decently charismatic.
I mean they certainly both command attention. One for being overall revolting and a predator, the other for being a predator from the underworld, who is also revolting. I could definitely imagine both of them putting baby chicks into a blender for the pleasure of scaring teens. And they each have a kind of startling skin texture.
RFK Jr is dangerous. He is a lunatic. He doesn’t understand science, and financially benefits from fomenting mistrust around vaccines such as Gardasil, which have immeasurably helped humanity and are nothing short of miraculous. His scaly claw is hovering over the delete button when it comes to critical research funding, health care access, and… my GOD, my 75 year old father cannot be the only person with open access to Misoprostol.
At his best he does not even begin to comprehend the organizations he would be called upon to lead; his nomination to this position is a joke, and a sham, and a disgrace. He is there to break it, not to run it.
How could I trust him to handle a syphilis outbreak across the country when I wouldn't even trust him to handle a syphilis outbreak in his own jeans.
OK. Well, we will see how it all shakes out, and good luck to us all.
To soothe my soul after the confirmation hearings I ate TWO full pastries from Librae Bakery, an epic salad from this amazing cookbook by Sohla El-Waylly, had a piping hot shower - and was pajamas up by 3:30pm.
To soothe your soul, please consider checking out THIS episode of Choice Words, in which I interview Chris Hayes and together, we basically solve the whole thing. His new book is suuuuper interesting, and we, two very needy people discussing the attention economy, are asking for your attention.
And if you are NOT YET AWARE, and what?? And HOW???? I also co-host The Daily Beast podcast with my friend, the always spicy Joanna Coles. Consider liking! Consider subscribing!
Together we are quite good at shenanigans, if I do say so. This week I indicated that I believe The New Mark Zuckerberg is the type of person who *might* recline on a surfboard in an attempt to tan his perineum, *allegedly* *possibly* *seems on brand in our new world*. How long will we be permitted to continue saying things like this? Let’s find out together.
Welcome to February.
Xo,
Sam
Sam, we need more people like you. Since you were once a tv host you have all the qualifications for a cabinet post. Go for it.
you are brilliant and adorable at once....thank you for being here.